One friend is better than none.

Sooooo... Had a pretty rough week, mostly 'cause I was feeling like crap the whole time. Firstly I was feeling utterly homesick this week. I just wanted to go back and live my old life of bumming around or just going to school or something y'know. Something that involves me already being surrounded by a group of people that I've well-interacted with, if that's even a term. Missing the old times in Singapore where I just chilled my days away or even the times in Vancouver when I could hang out with people whenever I wanted to or hide away in a cave if I needed to. Not really spoilt for choice here. Did I also mention that it's my time of the month this week. That sums up quite a bit. Haha.

Well I was really being an old grumps this week, don't know why. Monday and Tuesday were fine but Wednesday onward kicked me hard in the ass. I had a cool night on Tuesday hanging out with God. Throwing out thoughts about this Snells Beach. It was rather interesting. I had to share with the Pastor, not sure if he understood where I was coming from but in any case it was a good word. Imagine all the amazing stories that could potentially come out from people who hear! The VOICE, that voice. Something's brewing o'right. Anyway Wednesday was a real bummer. I woke up feeling shitty and sleepy and decided not to take coffee and because of that time of the month my stomach went into awkward bloating mode... That means the need to fart up, up and away. And then I started making so many mistakes at work, made me want to dig a hole in the ground. It wasn't super bad I think, but it's just me being dramatic (within my head as usual). And I have serious issues with making mistakes. Not sure if that came from a fear of failure..but I just hate making mistakes. It discourages me TONS and makes me want to withdraw into a cave and become a fisherman. Yes. So it makes me feel shitty. And I think that's why I don't spend so much time doodling. 'Cause I hate making mistakes and I hate it when things don't go my way... Huh! What a baby. Lol sometimes I have a conversation with myself and laugh. I'm glad God is always with me if not I fear I might be mad.

So I need to DRAAAG myself out of that mentality really. AND the best way to do it is by expressing yourself! In this case I am blogging and ...trying to sketch. But I don't like doodling when I'm unhappy 'cause strange stuff comes out of that. I think I need to realize that I'm human and I need to stop trying to be perfect. Life sucks when you try to make everything go perfect. On that note, what is perfection? It's relative, just like fatness. Mmm. Well Jesus is the best model of perfection out there. And yet He guides us into being who He called us to be, instead of creating us perfect. There must be some reason for that. Sometimes I just have to learn to enjoy whatever I'm doing. I mean, I don't wanna make mistakes every single time and mess up for the rest of my life, at some point I'd like to be able to be good at something and do well at it, but I guess I have to accept that it's perfectly normal to make mistakes and it's part of life to learn from that.

Well okay. I was also feeling pretty bored.. As I do now. I really should call people to out to chill. I managed to head out to a wedding fair last Sunday with the group of girls but.. that really makes you feel more pathetic and lonely, lol! Good thing they had good pastries and horses roaming around. Yes this is 2013 NZ, not the 1800s. I guess that's why I'm blabbering so much on the blog, I need to let all this inner monologue out! Haha. Blah. Indeed it is true, be thankful and do not complain for one friend is better than none.

Here's to another lovely weekend.