To Know and Be Known...

Today as I sat at Donkey Hill, I pondered about the creation of man with God. I thought to myself - how much I wanted to establish His Kingdom on the Earth... not just see souls being saved but to prepare the Bride for the King... but... how? How would I accomplish that? How would I find the purpose and meaning in my life and live it to the fullest of what He has called me to be??

And then He lead me to think further... Genesis 1:26 "Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." How are we created in the image of God? In what ways are we like Him? Our personalities, character, physical attributes, thought patterns are so diverse amongst each other... How are we like Him?

I really think it is in our being. The way He fashioned us, the way He breathed into our nostrils, the way He thinks about us... That is how we live in His image. But... why are we not? Why is that not reflecting in who we are at the moment? And then He brought me back to Adam and Eve once more. When they chose to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil rather than living from the tree of life. The choice that we have as humans to override relationship with intellect and knowledge. Adam and Eve both walked with God in the days of Eden. They ruled with God, not just for Him. They weren't apart from Him, they were one with Him. They learned His ways and bore His heart. Just like a Father He raised them up and taught them His ways. When they chose to eat of the 'knowledge' to 'instantly' be like God, they made the decision to let go of the journey with Him. For that reason, all men sinned and fell short of the Glory of God. And for THAT reason, He sent us Jesus! To restore and redeem the ancient ways - to restore us to that place where we can walk with Him and learn of His ways in this life that we are living. And that begins the journey and the process...

We are here with a desire and longing created by God seated deeply in our hearts to know and to be known. To know - that is to understand the divine purpose, to have understanding beyond reasoning, to know who He is. To be known - that we are loved, desired, cared for, that we are understood and that we belong. I love how God loves process and journey.. It is so amazing!!! I remember when He told me to start painting because He wanted to show me something. When I started I found myself losing patience quickly and wanting to erase the painting because it looked horrible. But then He said - why are you afraid of the ugly, the imperfect? Embrace the times and seasons of God and know that sometimes you just have to wait and you won't have an answer to everything! Then I realized I've got an issue with that. I like 'instant'... but God likes process. He enjoys being. He enjoys the present, the steps we take. That is what bolts us down... when we think we have to resolve everything instantly. No doubt to do good in the land of the living, however what difference is that from a monk if we do not take time to relate to God, and allow Him to relate to us? From this as we know Him and get to be known by Him... that is how we reflect His image and to truly live as sons and daughters created in His image - not by knowledge, not by might... but by the Spirit. We cannot mirror Him if we don't know Him, neither can we if He doesn't know us. Relationship is exchange... becoming One... to know... and to be known... Here comes our true purpose - to rule and reign WITH Him... what a delight!

Yearn - To have an intense feeling of longing

Today I pondered yet again. Why doesn't God just show up flamboyantly, in a mighty cape with smoke bellowing beneath Him and a booming voice that says "I'm here." Super-hero style. Possibly with tons of cherubs flying around him and mighty battle angels by his side.

I think God is teaching us how to yearn for Him. To yearn is to have a longing, an intense feeling of longing for someone. If He were to appear at random every time we call for Him or have a "church-y" meeting, I reckon we would never understand what it means to host Him.

Just as I was listening to Heidi Baker talk about waiting on Him, I think that when we learn how to entertain Him in our personal lives, we learn to respond to when He shows up. Since, because, technically, He is always there. But we never really know how to entertain Him unless He shows us how to be aware of His Presence. There's just something about yearning that keeps us looking. It keeps our eyes peeled for the one whom we long for, it keeps our hearts prepared to receive Him.

I think a lot of my journey with God is learning how to respond to Him - to His love, to His teaching, to His voice, to His ways, to His knowledge ..and the list goes on. It's a great thing that He is teaching, even though I only begin to understand little by little. I am so grateful for the way He has lead me, teaching me to be still until I hear His gentle whispers, to enter into His rest.

If God were to show up the way I expected Him to every time, I would not be able to value my experiences with Him as much as when He leads me into closer and deeper encounters with Him over seasons. He creates in us a longing so that we will be able to recognize His moves and entertain Him and the hosts of Heaven.

God is a great mystery to me... a mystery that is so close to my heart. Sometimes I cannot help but wonder what He has planned for us in the great future. Eternity itself is a mystery. Truly there is no one more wonderful than Him!

Psalms 119:93 " I will never forget Your precepts, for by them You have revived me."

Knitted and Woven

Today while at the table in the garden, I saw Jesus knitting. Or sewing. Whichever it was it sure made me chuckle. I thought it was funny that He enjoyed it and stated the fact that there was not much technology back then to entertain themselves with, back in those days.

Lol. And here's my favorite part - He went on to elaborate why He enjoyed it. Simply because it is looking at something, a thread in this case, so fragile and incomplete, doesn't look like anything much really. Envisioning what is on your mind, knitting thread upon thread, weaving them together. An intricate act! And then forming a beautiful picture of something that could never have been accomplished without each piece. How beautiful it is.

And then He ended with "Doesn't that seem familiar?". That made me smile. The Body! The Body of course! :)

Colossians 2:2 "That their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgment of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ;"

Man God is just so awesome and smart!

Peace.

Francis Frangipane – Follow your hunger


Today too many Christians have lost their hunger for God. Instead of coming into the Lord’s presence hungry for more of His fullness, our thoughts are held hostage to worldly pursuits and fleshly distractions. At best we are merely curious about spiritual realities, but not truly hungry.

Let me tell you a story that illustrates what I mean. We have a little dog named Sophie. Sophie loves people food. To her, eating people food is the culinary equivalent of entering the Kingdom of God. She loves our food. She even has a Bible verse that she claims in faith, “Even the dogs get the crumbs” (Matt 15:27).

When my wife and I share a meal, Sophie will sit at our feet, squint her eyes, and stare at us (she thinks squinting makes her cuter). Any food that falls to the floor instantly vanishes into her mouth. No matter how much of her food she has already eaten, she is always hungry for ours.

Our home has a small, fenced-in yard outside our porch where Sophie plays. Although the fence surrounds the area, there are gaps where the pickets don’t quite reach to the ground. If Sophie wanted, she actually could squeeze under the fence and get out, but she normally has no reason to try. Occasionally she will get curious and go as far as the gate, stand there a while and look out, but she doesn’t leave the yard.

One day, though, my wife decided to feed a few slices of stale bread to the birds that nest on the other side of the fence. When Sophie went out an hour later, she immediately noticed a human food smell in the air, which she tracked to the bread outside the gate. In less than a heartbeat she found a little gap under the picket fence, flattened herself to the ground, and then shimmied beneath the fence to the bread on the other side. It was gone in less than a minute.

My point is this: hunger will take you where mere curiosity would never go.

My friend, God is looking for hungry people. Blessed are those who hunger. He is seeking people who are truly seeking Him. Indeed, He has bread from Heaven for us, and it is eternally satisfying. We cannot afford to settle into the routine of a fenced-in reality, not when God has eternal food prepared for us. Let us, therefore, follow our hunger as we pursue the presence of God.

Cultivating good thoughts...

Just a thought - thoughts are such a powerful tool that God gave us, the mind rather, that I've come to realize influences me heaps. So God was talking to me about my thoughts. And He gave me a pretty good analogy which I thought might come in handy. Cultivating the mind is almost like cultivating a farm. Our mind is like the soil on which the seeds (our thoughts) grow in. Now good thoughts that have been sowed and watered down eventually grow to become a strong fortress of vegetation that makes up the farm. Likewise, bad thoughts can grow into a massive mess that will be hard to uproot. Imagine having to chop down a thousand year old tree that has a trunk so thick, it's gonna take so much time, effort and pain to get rid of it. And with a farm, we can choose to grow different crops in different areas in different seasons. If we only do grow cabbages and not yield crops with the other fertile ground, we only reap cabbages and possibly nothing else. But if we do grow carrots, turnips, fruits etc., cultivate it and protect it, we end up with a lavish orchard with much produce! Likewise with our minds, we have the option to grow in so many different areas, depending on what we do with it. So now, what kind of place do I want my mind to be? :) Not forgetting the promise that we have, to be continually renewed in our minds, to be transformed in the mind of Christ.

Another conversation which I do need to blog down because this always happens and I need to constantly remind myself - sometimes I get so caught up in the "doing", "trying" and even "being" that I forget to enjoy who God is for me in that point in my life! Now that's scary. If I'm seeking to understand the nature of God, I don't want to overlook the aspect of Him that He is revealing. Paul writes "it is no longer I that live, but Christ who lives in me."

Since I have no drawing today, I'm gonna end with this beautiful verse found in Acts 2:28 and Psalms 16:11;

"You have made known to me the ways of life;
You will make me full of gladness with Your presence."

Selah.

The Watered Down Gospel...

Today was rather interesting. I found myself in church listening to a sermon about "The Great Commission" and going out to preach the gospel to the lost and the broken. Somehow I felt unconvinced while listening. Perhaps it was my cloudy judgement, or perhaps it just didn't dig as deep as it should've, I don't know. And then I found myself in a beautiful house down in Scotts Landing with a down to earth American-Canadian-kiwi family together with a Maori brother, his son and a New Zealander who was supposedly a missionary. While the bread was superbly soft and delicious and boy do I wish I knew where on earth that heavenly dough was from, I soon found myself in an uncomfortable position where I wanted to leave... and yet I couldn't because of my driving incapability. Now the thing which made me squirm on the inside was when they started talking about the gospel. The watered down gospel of Christ. That was uncomfortable, honest to God. Firstly because I hardly ever share the gospel these days, or ever. I've always been in an environment where we talk about the love of the Father, His vision for the season, hearing His voice, angels etc. and the list goes on. It was always in a safe environment where everyone had a fair encounter with God and knew what each one was talking about. We had a common perception so to speak. Stepping out of that circle made me utterly confused. Am I judging? Am I being an elitist? Do I consider myself more "holy" than another? Those thoughts put me on the edge of my seat honestly. Well back to the point - so they were talking about sharing the TRUE gospel. Now what is that?! Yeah I was totally wanting to leave. And they were just sharing their thoughts and opinions on what the true gospel is - how we do have to share about the conviction of sin and hell and the renewing of mind. I couldn't buy that at that point. I just always thought that we just need to show people the love of Christ, tell them how good God is, speak into their future and the divine purpose God has for them. As they proceeded on with the sharing, I sat there and began to ponder. Perhaps it is true that I have been afraid to offend people, to scare them off, hence I've never felt the need to share about the consequences of sin. And perhaps it is because of that that I never felt empowered to carry this message to the unbelievers. I remember this time in Vancouver when I was sitting around with my close friends, now it was so easy to talk about sex and gossip, and yet when it came to a point when they shared with me about talking to God, I couldn't say anything. All I said was yes it's good to talk with God. And I couldn't spill the truth that Jesus is the way and the truth and the life, and about the need to repent because we have to come into the knowledge of what Jesus did for us which enables us to come to the Father. I just didn't and couldn't bring myself to say anything. And yet I have such a heart for the oppressed and the people lost in darkness. So as I began to ponder (and still am), I start wondering if perhaps that is what I need to learn. I know God is good, I have such great experiences with God, I know He is full of love and compassion and He wants to reveal His heart to us, and yet I don't know how to relate that to people. Sure I can talk about it in the comfort of my closest friends who are walking with God and whatnot, but I don't know how to bring it across to people who are just completely clueless about the nature of God. Maybe it is true. And I think God will start enlightening me on that process. I have been wondering about the lack of transformation and movement in the church, let alone the church, even in my own life and of those around me. Are we supposed to just keep all this goodness that we know about to ourselves? Will it be too shallow to think that we can only minister in one way, in film in my case, and just not bother about the other people who come in throughout my life and have spoken over them??

Anyway God has His way of doing things that I find very intriguing. He always seems to bring the answers to the questions in my heart through people and experiences. And I never forget that He reminds me that in this season I will learn to partner with the Holy Spirit. Which is AWE-some. So anyway as they were praying for me, I think the thing that struck me most was that he said I would be an imparter of faith and that a new level of compassion from God was gonna come upon me and He will equip me for it if not I would be overwhelmed by it. Which is interesting. I honestly am going to pray with God for that. I think I'm getting tired of a powerless life. I want to be empowered by God on new levels. I want to experience all that He has planned for a time like this. I don't wanna just sit back and work for that one vision of seeing God move through films. I think that is one of my main callings to go into the media industry, but I want to see God move everywhere I go no matter where I am. I want to see the lives of people changed by God, I want to see radical transformation in people. I want to see the power of the Holy Spirit manifest in great measures! I think it'll start somewhere, and probably soon. And I wanna be a part of God moving man.

Well!

I wonder if.

Whooh. Friday. What a week! ..pretty much as with any other to be honest, except this week felt more ..renewing I suppose, if that can even be used to describe it. Soooooo. I've been having a ton of thoughts wandering in my mind, which really makes me wonder. And it also inconveniently prevents me from getting sleep. Srsly. Uncomfortable at night. Some of them good though. I am beginning to wonder if one can feel the compassion of God on one person and less on another. I mean like, is it possible that you would feel compassion from above on someone, and you feel really compelled to speak with that person, but not so much on other people. Like the compassion of God to move is on different people..? Shrugs. I also wonder if God has a different "level" of favor for different people, not that He loves one more than the other... but just in terms of favor... I've also come to realize that God, really, has, different, ways of bringing people up. I used to always feel the need to tell people "THE TRUTH", which really is just me speaking of my own opinions sometimes. I mean, I definitely have good revelation from God, but I also need to learn to recognize the season that the person is in and if it is applicable for them... I never used to think that. I just always wanted to blurt out everything, it's good to listen most of the time, haha. There are definitely some foundational truths that cannot and should not be tossed around with, but I find that when it comes to personal experience and encounters - there is no one right way. So it's really hard to tell someone to believe this -or that. I don't quite want to rob someone of the experience of encountering God for themselves. It's good to share stories though, it really is. Coming here made me realise how much I love talking to people, having good ol' raw conversations. Really helps me to process God's nature. Isn't it amazing! Funny how we always think we can only learn about God in one way. God is SO diverse. He IS God after all. He truly is. I don't think I can ever comprehend the uniqueness of God. I tried to... May I just say, IMPOSSSSSIBLE. And yet He calls us to seek after Him, it is the Glory of God to conceal a matter, but the honour of kings to search it out! I'm still trying to learn how to minister to people, but as I ponder over this now, I think I'm first learning how to be a friend. Can never get enough of that eh.

I've never really valued relationship as much as it's worth. I need to understand the culture of relationship and family before I proceed furthur. Sometimes I feel like God brought me here to learn that. Having grown up in the city it's hard to find a "family". By that I mean friends whom you value so much you would be willing to lose your life for. Mostly because things move rapidly in the city and you never really have time to truly talk. Most of the time we end up distracted by shopping and movies... and other people, an activity I enjoy with a cup of Starbucks - people watching. Anyway, the point is that I think the culture here is really different. Because it is such a small community, it's like everyone knows each other! It's not like everyone is super warm and friendly to anyone in the world, but they are to each other! It's almost like they know that without one or the other, their lives wouldn't be complete..! Interesting. I'm still trying to adapt though to be honest. Small talk is always easy for me because I don't have to put in the effort to build a relationship... But man if I continue with that, I'm gonna be one lonely donkey without anyone to value or without anyone to value me. That would be saaaad. So on one hand while I feel like God has me here for a reason, I am still here to learn and learn and learn again. Most of the time I just need to pick myself up from the pothole of self-pity and be bold. And yet I must not forget to be completely vulnerable and honest with God. God is funny. As Christians we tend to seperate one from the other. We always want the extremities. But God is all about balance. Once again, we NEED ever so desperately to hear God and be with Him to understand what He wants to say for the moment. Thank God He loves to do that! Can you imagine a god who hates talking and listening?! Boy that would be one horrible world... which most people are already living in since that is the kind of god they live for :x

Okay I think that is enough rambling for the night. I really wanted to do a picture of a toucan and here it is. Not proud of it though, since it was mostly a trace that required nothing much more than a bit of time. I like how this is pushing me to draw - gotta post a sketch if I am to blog! Haha. Grrrrreat.